Sister's husband wants to flex his promotion by inviting breakfast but then gets upset about paying for what the brother ordered, even though he always eats the same thing: 'I would have happily paid the bill, like I usually do'

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Ok, bit of background: My little sister Lilith has been married to "Josh" for 8 years now. They don't live in poverty, but my wife and I make a lot more than they do, so when we go out it's generally us picking up the bill. I'm not throwing any shade, I don't mind paying for my friends/family to have a good time. Just stating a fact. We pay ~95% of the time. I'm fine with that.
A breakfast buffet.
So, to get to the actual issue: Josh hit me up at about 6am and asked if we were free for breakfast this morning. I didn't have to go to work until 11am, so I said "sure!". We met them at the diner at 7:30am. When I go to this diner for breakfast, I always order the same thing. I get the "Lumberjack Breakfast". It's 3 pancakes (or waffles), 3 eggs (any way you
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want em), 3 slabs of scrapple (or 3 strips of bacon, or 3 sausages), a huge portion of hash brown, and 2 biscuits (with jam and butter, gravy costs extra). It also comes with bottomless coffee and OJ. It's the 2nd most expensive thing on the breakfast menu, steak and eggs is #1. We sit around chatting and eating. We're there for about an hour and a half. Unbeknownst to me, Josh had pulled the server
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aside when we first sat down, and gave her his card to pay. He wanted to "flex" his new promotion (again, unbeknownst to me) by paying for breakfast. So he pays the bill, and leaves a decent tip. I offered to pay, but he insisted. I have nothing but love for my sister, and I've never had any problems with Josh before. But ten minutes after we got home,
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Josh started texting me, asking why I had to order something so expensive while I knew they were struggling. I had no idea they were struggling. He insisted on paying, even after he heard me order the Lumberjack. I would have happily paid the bill, like I usually do. But apparently man wanted to flex on us, but me ordering the same thing I order every time we go there was not in his expected budget.
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A person serving his plate with food from the breakfast buffet.
PlusSizeRussian Model NTA. He's being ridiculous. Either he's trying to flex his new promotion (and thus can afford the few extra dollars your breakfast cost), or he's struggling, and should've stuck to the status quo of you paying. It's incredibly r de to insist on paying, and then be upset about having to pay.
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Dunk_the_lunk I'd probably answer him something like: "Josh, I honestly had no idea you guys were struggling or that you planned to pay. I ordered the same breakfast I always get there, and I offered to pay when I found out you were covering it. If you'd told me money was tight, I obviously wouldn't have expected you to pay for me. I'm not upset, but it's not fair to make it sound like I
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deliberately ran up your bill." Basically: Josh wanted the credit for making a generous gesture without comfortably being able to afford the gesture, then blamed you when it cost more than he hoped. That part is on him. (Next time bottomless mimosas for you) Make them sweat
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Reading4Drama NTA No one told you he was paying until after you guys had already ate. But why would he give the server his card before? I would have thought that he would have made a big deal at the table by pulling out the card.
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khold002 NTA. He should have offered to split the check for once as a flex. It sounds like you would have really appreciated that gesture. I hope your breakfast was good. I love a good pig out.
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raytherip NTA. He asked you for breakfast if they are struggling he didnt have to ask you...is my thoughts
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fbombmom NTA. I mean, I get that he was trying to return the favor by picking up the tab. It was successful until he texted you later. That was ridiculously tacky, and probably very embarrassing for your sister. Maybe next time tell the waiter separate checks before your order, that way there are no surprises on the amount next time.
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FormSuccessful1122 NTA. What a tool. Wants to play big shot in public then whine like a toddler after? Ew.
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FrankiesDragon He's completely in the wrong, which makes it even easier for you to take the (very) high road by responding: "Sorry if I've put you in a tough position. I'm going to venmo you enough to cover our 2 breakfasts. Enjoyed spending time with you guys."
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whotookmyphone NTA. How is he not embarrassed to even confront you over that? What a weirdo.
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